ADHD: More Than Just "Bad Behavior"

ADHD is a Brain Based Condition

Kids with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or behavior challenges aren’t choosing to misbehave. They typically have problems with attention, hyperactivity, impulsivity, emotional regulation, organization, and planning. Research shows that differences in brain development play a big role, particularly in these areas:

Prefrontal Cortex: This part of the brain controls attention, impulse control, planning, and emotional regulation. In children with ADHD, the prefrontal cortex develops more slowly, making tasks like waiting their turn or managing frustration genuinely harder. This area can also develop slower in people with ADHD compared to those without ADHD.

Dopamine System (Reward Pathways): Children with ADHD often have differences in how their brains process dopamine, a chemical involved in motivation and reward. This can make it harder for them to stay focused on tasks that aren’t immediately rewarding—like homework or chores. Treatment for ADHD are thought to work in part by altering these pathways and changing how the network functions. 

Your child's behaviors are not willful defiance - they're symptoms of neurological differences.

What This Looks Like in Daily Life

Because of these brain-based differences, your child might:

• Interrupt or blurt things out without meaning to.

• Struggle to sit still or follow routines.

• Get overwhelmed easily, leading to outbursts or shutdowns.

• Be labeled as “lazy” when they’re actually working twice as hard to focus.

What Can Parents Do Right Now? 

Practical Behavior Tips to Use With Your Child Today

While waiting on your evaluation or to start treatment, you can support your child at home. These tips work for kids with or without ADHD.

• Keep Instructions Clear & Brief: 

Give one-step instructions, use visual reminders/checklists, and praise for completion of even small tasks. Make sure your child is paying attention (e.g. maintaining eye contact, repeats the instruction to you, no distractions). 

• Use Immediate, Frequent Positive Reinforcement: 

We all love to be rewarded, especially kids! Kids respond best to immediate, labeled praise and small rewards rather than delayed gratification. Be sure to notice even small successes. 

Ex: Instead of "Great job!" say "Great job waiting your turn!"

• Offer Predictable Routines: 

Having a routine takes the some of the guesswork out of the day - something that can lead to meltdowns. Try consistent schedules for the things that you can control: meals, homework, and bedtime.

• Regulation First, Discipline Second

When your child is dysregulated (crying, yelling, shutting down), they’re not able to problem-solve. Think of this like a wave that has already peaked, you have to wait for them to get back down to shore for them to hear you. Focus on helping them calm down first—through quiet time, deep breaths, or physical comfort—before addressing behavior. 

• Don’t Personalize the Behavior

As a parent, it is easy to feel like your child’s behavior is a reflection of your parenting. Remember: these behaviors reflect a brain that’s wired differently, not a child who is “bad” or disrespectful, and not a parent that isn't doing their absolute best!